TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT IN MY LIFE

Manhood

I turn 26 on Tuesday.  What a great feeling. I started training at work finally. I’m trying to learn as much as I can about this job, so I can be able to master it. I have no intentions of staying in Maryland. I’ve been here for far too long. Thinking about that girl at the gym, she was pretty cute. I hate being single. They say that millennials have a loneliness problem; well, that’s pretty true for me. I be super lonely. I’m by myself most of the time; I can’t connect with people. It’s like there’s no one who I can relate to – it’s really as if I’m by myself on this planet.

I haven’t written on my blog in a while. Not good, but I’ve honestly been trying to figure things out in my life. Spiritually, I’ve been pretty bored lately. I haven’t been connecting with God at all. I know I’m supposed to trust Him, I never knew how difficult it was. At this point, it’s like, I don’t even care anymore. I’ve been living in sin: I’ve started smoking again, I’ve even watched porn a few times – the very things that I thought I was delivered from. It’s crazy how we often return to the things that we’re familiar with, even when we know how harmful they are. The “routine” of living righteously gets boring after a while, and we go back to the same toxic habits that we struggle with daily to escape. I talked to my therapist about it, and she said “such is the human condition.” Numerous theologians, philosophers, artists, and writers struggled with these dilemmas. I want to serve God. I want to live for Him, but I’m honestly just tired of struggling.

The Joker

I saw The Joker about a month ago. I had been meaning to write a blog post about it, but I honestly just didn’t feel like it. I have too much to say about it. A former coworker saw it before I did, and told me about how “bizarre” and “weird” it was. I figured I’d go out and see what he was talking about. He was right, it didn’t disappoint in the weird category. It’s depictions of violence and mental illness were very unconventional. Arthur Fleck could be anybody in 21st Century America. Mental illness is real. Poverty, childhood trauma, and generally just being dealt a bad hand in life will drive anyone insane. Not insane to the point of becoming a psychopathic mass murderer like the Joker, but insane none the less. We’re all going insane if you think about it: How many people are depressed and on pills? How many people OD on heroin? We live in the most prosperous time in world history, but yet we’re all miserable. We’re all insane.

Naming it “The Joker” was an obvious attempt to hop on the superhero trend. The movie isn’t even canon with DC Comics lore and has little-to-nothing to do with The Joker of Batman fame. It didn’t feel faithful to the comics at all. The themes of the movie are relevant to our society, so this movie really could have been made about anybody — but hey, they’ve gotta make a profit somehow, right? That’s my only real critique of it. I give it a 9.5/10, would recommend it to anybody. I don’t feel like summarizing it though. I’m tired.

Are Things Getting Weird?

I get the sense, almost every day at this point, that something is horribly wrong with the world. That the way that the world used to work, things just don’t work that way anymore. As if, right around the turn of the decade, something went horribly wrong. Things don’t feel normal: The bar has become extremely low in everything: Politics, music, culture, etc. I see it everywhere I look. I mean, I was telling someone earlier, don’t be surprised if – ten to twenty years from now – the #1 song on Billboard is a dude making fart noises on a three-minute-long track. Not for nothing, but the current President of the United States main-evented WrestleMania. Enough said.

Everyone wants to be the loudest person; everyone wants to force others to conform to their way of thinking. Social media has driven everyone in the world completely insane. It has distorted reality to such a destructive extent. The solution? I honestly don’t know. I prefer to just stay away.

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About thisisgeorgegordy

My name is George Gordy. I'm stuck in a hole and I'm trying to get out of it. So I made this blog.